Click on January in the BLOG ARCHIVE to see the Ordination Slide-Show

Seven Times To Say I'm Sorry

"I'm Sorry” . . .

• When I'm wrong
• When I'm careless
• When I'm rude
• When I'm defensive
• When I'm impatient
• When I'm negative
• When I'm hurtful

The five worst places to resolve conflict:

• In front of the TV
• In front of the kids
• In public
• In transit
• From different rooms

Brain Funk

Sometimes I feel stuck in my mind, if there can be such a thing. I've noticed throughout my lifetime that I go into what I call a brain funk. It's like when you eat too much ice cream and freeze your brain for a few seconds, only this lasts a little longer. . . like a pause while thoughts have the chance to travel on little journeys to be processed and become all they were meant to be as they think about super busy projects or a very stressful situations coming up, etc.


If I'm not careful I could be "traveling" for days . . . in a strange kind of daze, pausing here and there in my mind wondering what I ought to be doing and how I ought to be doing it, instead of coming into the rest stop.

One of the things I HAVE learned, however, is to try and do at least one of the things on my mind as soon as I can - that's all - and go to bed! (If you know me, you know that this processing usually happens at night!) Sadly, I have been a night owl from birth. BUT . . . aren't Proverbs 31 women supposed to get up very early, before everyone else, and bake bread from scratch and all kinds of other stuff like that? I know . . . I've always felt bad about not getting up real early - but not this chick-a-dee! Just can't do it! It even says in my baby book that "she loves to sleep in." So, I blame this "birth defect" entirely on my mother - ha! At least I have a lot of energy in the evening.

Everyone will have a better outlook in the morning when rested and ready to face the day - night owl or not! Therefore, tonight I am writing this one thing . . .


and going to bed!





ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz

Who We Are, Is Who We Were

As most of you know my husband and I live apart during the week, and then he comes home each weekend. Fr Dad, "Papa," then spends time with the family before he heads back down to Camp Lejeune (130 miles away) to repeat the process all over again for the next week. He is what is called a Geo-bachelor Chaplain at Camp Lejeune.



We spend a lot of time on the telephone (as you can well imagine), of course, and writing emails back and forth, and I wanted to share one email that he sent to me recently. It is especially significant during this Lenten Season and I pray this small glimpse into our lives will bless you in a measure as it did (and does) me:


Honey,

I love you and miss you a lot when I'm down here at the Marine base during the week. Even though we've been married for so long, I still understand that we have so much room to grow in our relationship, and I'm thankful that this growth will never stop. As we work our way through this Great Lent, I pray that whatever things I've said or done in the past that have caused you pain are fading to the point where your feelings and needs for ever increasing security with me are now stronger than ever. Yet I've learned enough to know that the past never really goes away, and that the mistakes we make and the thoughtless things we say and do, no matter how small, still can cause pain. I don't ever want to be like those stupid men who say "can't we just put this behind us?", because they really don't understand how much the past always remains a part of us.

I often remember the line from "Amastad" where John Quincy Adams eloquently lays out that most profound truth about our past:

Remember? (From the movie Amistad http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amistad_%281997_film%29)

"What we've come to understand ... what we've been made to understand ... is that who we are ... is who we were!"

Everything we've thought about, acted upon, dreamed about and slipped into in the past comprises who we are now. That's why it's so important to be constantly repentant, and to focus on the good, the pure, and the things that are of good report, so that the future holds blessings for us and not curses. As we now know, the blessings or the curses that come upon us from God do not come from His capriciousness, but from Him in a singular flow of "energy," the effect of which is determined by our heart's disposition.

As we continue to move through this Lenten time, please forgive me for the stupid little lapses in caring for you, like the hurtful things I've said to you now and then. I feel very bad when it happens! And although I can't take them back I pray that having experienced the pain of what uttering them does to you, I will think more than twice before saying things like them again.

All my love,
+Me


We've come along way in our almost 36 years of marriage! It's easy to bring up things in the past (in an instant, actually!), and it can be painful sometimes. But it's who we are, because "who we are, IS who we were! I don't think I would change a thing now. And, if I were to "undo" anything, then I wouldn't be who I am now, and wouldn't be where I am in my life now.

(Having faith) Fight the good fight - Wage the good warfare! (1 Timothy 1:19)

The Weekly Window

Have you heard about The Weekly Window? Jesse and Elina Pelikan (our older son and daugher-in-law) have recently created this site for you to see and listen to the stories and origins of the pricious Icons of the Holy Orthodox Church. Explore the beauty of Iconography each week by visiting: http://weeklywindow.com/

I have provided a link to this site on the side bar under "Check This Out"

The Many Faces of Elijah - 4 1/2 months old

Some recent shots taken of Elijah. I thought it would be fun to see some of the different looks he has.

What a doll, huh?

And he has the personality to match! He's as sweet as can be, and a little cuddle-bug too!

Surviving the Hard Stuff

Step Three (step one and two are written earlier)

Learn how to catch the wave as it breaks/Face the hard stuff head on!

This is a picture of how I imagine a perfect day at the beach. Leisurely swims, holding hands and just basking in the sun.

But , of course just as in life, this isn't always reality! Often times it will look like this and whoa . . . you find yourself having to go out in the water anyway (for some reason). If this is the case, there is one thing to keep in mind:

Never slow down for an incoming wave; always charge straight into it.

I will never forget the feeling of exhilaration at figuring out how to do this. Suddenly the fear that had haunted me in previous attempts of venturing out into the bigger surf was reduced exponentially! I finally had it! The knowledge and skill I needed to navigate safely to the other side, even though the wave was HUGE! I finally knew that in larger surf I should dive under the waves and not try to swim through it, or (God forbid) try to jump over the treachery. If the surf was too big, I could dive straight through, but when the wave was really big, I must dive to the bottom and grab some sand and then bring my feet to my hands and push up at 45 degrees to the back of the wave above me. Before I knew it, I would be safely BEHIND the big wave!

When we see the hard stuff coming at us in life, whether at home or at work, we must try to face it head on and charge straight into it. Learn the exhilaration of facing the situation by diving into it with God’s plan for conquering the task at hand. Even if it seems overwhelming and far too big to handle, we can dive into it, under it, and then up and through it, just like the wave. The key--practice, practice, practice -- and a whole lot of bravery!

Here are a few things the Bible has to say to us about it:

"I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Nevertheless, you have done well with me to share in my affliction." (Philippians 4:12-13)

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm." (Ephesians 6:10-13)

Happy Birthday, Rondi

The family gathered together at our house to celebrate Rondi's 28th birthday on Saturday - two days early. Her actual birthday is TODAY! Happy Birthday, Rondi!

We all love you, and hope you are having a great day! We pray God grant you many more wonderful birthdays!

We had birthday cake and pizza!

Misha showed Great Grandpa her creation.

500 Visits!

Today marks the 500th visit to my blog since I started keeping track of everyone visiting, beginning on 2/4/08. Thank you! Please feel free to share this blog with whomever you wish. My next goal is to hit the 1000th visit mark.



In celebration, I'm sharing one of my favorite inspirational stories. I hope it inspires you as it has me. Enjoy!



THE DAFFODIL PRINCIPLE

Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead. "I will come next Tuesday," I promised, a little reluctantly, on her third call.

Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and so I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house and hugged and greeted my grandchildren, I said, "Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in the clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see bad enough to drive another inch!" My daughter smiled calmly and said, "We drive in this all the time, Mother."

"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears, and then I'm heading for home!" I assured her. "I was hoping you'd take me over to the garage to pick up my car. How far will we have to drive?" "Just a few blocks," Carolyn said. "I'll drive. I'm used to this." After several minutes, I had to ask, "Where are we going? This isn't the way to the garage!" "We're going to my garage the long way," Carolyn smiled, "by way of the daffodils." "Carolyn," I said sternly, "please turn around." "It's all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."

After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church, I saw a hand lettered sign that read, "Daffodil Garden." We got out of the car and each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then we turned a corner of the path, and I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight. It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it down over the mountain peak and slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron, and butter yellow. Each different colored variety was planted as a group so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.

"But who has done this?" I asked Carolyn. "It's just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the property. That's her home." Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house that looked small and modest in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house. On the patio, we saw a poster. "Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking" was the headline. The first answer was a simple one. "50,000 bulbs," it read. The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and very little brain." The third answer was, "Began in 1958."

There it was, The Daffodil Principle. For me, that moment was a life changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun one bulb at a time to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top. Still, just planting one bulb at a time, year after year, had changed the world.

This unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of ineffable (indescribable) magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration. That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time - often just one baby step at a time - and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.

"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn, “what might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five or forty years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years. Just think what I might have been able to achieve!" My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. "Start tomorrow," she said.

It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, "How can I put this to use today?"


Author Unknown

Click on January in the BLOG ARCHIVE to see the Ordination Slide-Show

Forgive -- and live longer

Generally psychologists are not known for supporting values such as forgiveness and honesty. If anything psychologists support what today could be called post-Modernism or moral relativism. So, I kept a short little article from Prevention Magazine (April 2005), and thought it was surprisingly relevant and worth repeating from time to time:

Forgive--and live longer

Self-healing can come through forgiving others, but it's not easy. Marc Ian Barasch, author of Field Notes on the Compassionate Life (published by Rodale, which publishes Prevention) notes that now you can seek help.

Experts say holding a grudge raises levels of damaging stress hormones. Over time, this can harm the heart and raise risk of depression.

But forgiving takes time and effort, says Barasch. Psychologists and counselors trained in "forgiveness therapy" can help by getting patients to confront their anger and understand the other person's motives.

Isn't it interesting that the "professional" world is finally coming around to what we in the Church have known for two thousand years?

"The asking of forgiveness and one of the holiest and sanctifying of these traditions, the Mystery of Confession and Absolution is especially to be employed during the start of this Lenten season. The true follower of Christ, committed to imitate Him, the Son of God, seeks forgiveness from those whom they have offended and forgiving those whom they have offended and confessing these and all our sins to Christ through His instrument the unworthy priest and receives the seal of absolution."

MAKING LENT MEANINGFUL by V.Rev.Fr. George Morelli, Ph.D. http://www.antiochian.org/1141239213

Happy Birthday, Jesse!

34 years ago yesterday, in Misawa, Japan, Jesse Martin Pelikan was born. Our first born - the Japanese nurses said we were very blessed to have a son, and especially a boy with two dimples! Extra special! Kissed by angels, they said!

He and his sweet family live here in our neighborhood now, so we had a very nice birthday celebration last night. It was so great to finally be together for his birthday! It's been too long!

Check out Jesse's new blog: http://jpelikan.blogspot.com/

Also a great new site that Jesse has created: http://www.weeklywindow.com/

Jesse also designed our family website: http://pelikans.co-site.com/

Patience - Quiet Hope

Patience is quiet hope and trust that things will turn out right. You wait without complaining. You are tolerant and accepting of difficulties and mistakes. You picture the end in the beginning and persevere to meet your goals.

Patience is a commitment to the future.

We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world.~Helen Keller (1880 – 1968)

Learn the art of patience. Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success.

~ Brian Adams