I must take a momentary break in "10 Tips fo Social Success," since the article I saved and am using has gone missing. In the meantime, however, let me talk to you about "Forgive - and live longer."
The physical healing we are looking for can sometimes come through forgiving others, but it's not easy! Experts say holding a grudge raises levels of damaging stress hormones, and that over time, this can harm the heart and raise the risk of depression!
But ... certainly forgiving takes time and effort, right? Well, that's ok!
Holding a grudge against someone brings on all kinds of invisible stress, and according to research done at Hope College in Michigan, when people remember past slights:

- their blood pressure increases
- their heart rate increases
- their muscle tension is higher

Other research suggests that stress hormone levels increase when we can't forgive and forget! The result is a weaker immune system and possibly imparied neurological function and poor memory - wow!

The remarkable thing is that when we really love our neighbor as ourselves; We do unto others as we do unto ourselves; We hate others when we hate ourselves; We are tolerant toward others when we tolerate ourselves; We forgive others when we forgive ourselves; We are prone to sacrifice others when we are ready to sacrifice ourselves. -- Eric Hoffer

Tips for Social Success - #3
Keep it Short:

Telling long stories about people and topics others may not know or care about will bore and tire them. It's better to get right to the point.

Be sure to make eye contact, include some questions for your listener in your conversation, and watch for signs of your listener losing interest:

• If your listener isn't making eye-contact with you, this could mean you've lost them already.
• Does your listener want to ask questions? Keep them on track by saying you'll get to their question is just a second.
• Is your listener relaxed? That's great!
• If your listener changes the subject, it may be he/she is unable to keep interested in what you have to say, and it's definately time to GET TO THE POINT!.
• Has your listener tried to change the subject? Not good! It may be that your listener is not practiced at being a good listener, but that isn't your concern right now.
• Is your listener smiling, or crossing her arms and shifting her weight from one leg to the other? Look for little signs that you're losing his/her interest by watching body language.

It's just make sense, and is definately good practice to remember to KEEP IT SHORT!

Baby Smiles


When I see her smiles, her giggles belong to me.
When I see her tears, my hugs belong to her.
A giggle – a grin,
A sob – a frown,
Mimi writes them all down.
Away, on the far side of the world,
Baby smiles, baby curls!

Jaroslav Pelikan falls asleep in the Lord
Christ is Risen!

We have just learned that my husband's first cousin and St. Vladimir's seminary trustee Dr. Jaroslav Pelikan, fell asleep in the Lord this afternoon; Saturday, May 13 around 2:30 pm ... after a long battle with lung cancer.

The schedule of services in the St. Vladimir's seminary chapel is as follows:
Tuesday evening; May 16, 7:00 pm VIGIL (FUNERAL) SERVICE
Wednesday morning; May 17, 9:00 am MEMORIAL DIVINE LITURGY
Recognized by many as the most noted church historian of our time, Dr. Pelikan, along with his wife, Sylvia, made St. Vladimir's his parish home upon his reception into the Orthodox Church in 1998.
Memory Eternal!

Click below to read more about this incredibly amazing man:

http://www.yale.edu/history/faculty/pelikan.html
http://www.loc.gov/loc/kluge/pelikan.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaroslav_Pelikan

How did Mother's Day begin, anyway?

The custom of honoring mothers goes back at least as far as 17th-century England, which celebrated (and still celebrates) Mothering Sunday, celebrated the 4th Sunday of Lent.

... but, in America Mother's Day was first suggested in the year 1872, by a well-known woman, Julia Ward Howe (she wrote the words to a famous hymn - The Battle Hymn of the Republic). There was already a day in May dedicated to peace, and every year Mrs. Howe would hold organized Mother's Day meetings in Boston, Massachusets.

In 1907, a Philadelphia woman by the name of Ana Jarvis, began a campaign to establish a national Mother's Day. Ms. Jarvis persuaded her mother's church in Grafton, West Virginia to celebrate Mother's Day on the second anniversary of her own dear mother's death, the 2nd Sunday of May. By the next year Mother's Day was also celebrated throughout Philadelphia.

Ana Jarvis and her supporters began to write to everyone they could think of, with the idea of establishing a national Mother's Day. They was successful! By 1911 Mother's Day was celebrated in almost every American state. President Woodrow Wilson, in 1914, made the official announcement proclaiming Mother's Day as a national holiday that was to be held each year on the 2nd Sunday of May.

Tips for Social Success - Tip #2

"Don't flaunt knowledge. You may think it makes you look smart and informed, but others may find you pompous. "Talking at" people is the kiss of death in making a good impression."

To be enriching, knowledge must be combined with love. We must learn how to share truth and knowledge in love, without singing our own praises!

In the Bible (I Corinthians 8:1-2), the Apostle Paul tells us that knowledge puffs up, but love builds up:
"If anyone fancies he knows anything, he does not yet understand as he should; but if anyone loves God, that person is known by Him." The "building up" given in Scripture here is like the way it is when building a house, where "puffed up" carries a meaning of being inflated like a balloon.

Paul is certainly not condemning knowledge, and of course, neither am I. Indeed, he was probably the most knowledgeable apostle of all; a highly educated and cultured man. That knowledge was put to great use in the service of God later in his ministry, but before his conversion to Christ, he used his knowledge to persecute Christians. Later he confessed that he esteemed everything he had before he came to know Christ, including his knowledge, to be quite useless and meaningless.

Paul also said: "Faith without works is dead." Likewise, "Knowledge without love is dead." In fact, knowledge without love is a dangerous enticements. Remember this: true knowledge comes out of love. True knowledge is a fruit of love. It is humble, not boasting, not attention-seeking. False knowledge is occupied with the "self" in a bid to impress others. It only puffs up the soul in pride.

Seven seconds is the average length of time you have to make a good first impression.
Although individuals should be judged by their worth, it is often a first impression that determines whether someone will take the time to let you reveal it. What a shame to allow an unwitting social blunder, such as an incorrect introduction, an inappropriate question, or an absent handshake, be the determining factor of whether someone gives you the time you need to show your attributes and abilities. If your initial meeting is not good you won' t ever get another chance to make a good first impression.
Some years ago, I cut out a little article named "10 Tips for Social Success," with the hopes of sharing it with others, and just remembering these tips for myself. Over the next 10 days, I will share these tips, along with a little of my own commentary to go with:

1) "Share the Stage! Talking about your interests is fun, but remember that social encounters can be short and others enjoy talking about their interests too."

The word ‘etiquette’ used to mean "keep off the grass". Louis XIV’s gardener noticed that the aristocrats were walking through his gardens and put up signs, or étiquets, to ward them off. The dukes and duchesses walked right past these signs. Due to this blatant disregard, the King of Versailles decreed that no individual was to go beyond the bounds of the étiquets. The meaning of etiquette would later include the ticket to court functions that listed the instructions on where a person would stand and what was to be done. Etiquette, like language, has evolved, but it still means literally "keep off the grass". Until the 1960’s, the importance of good manners were taught without question, but with the liberated 70’s came a decline in the popularity of teaching proper etiquette. In 2004, a new emphasis has been placed on returning to traditional values. Proper etiquette and protocol has given children and adults alike a vital tool that not only provides a competitive edge, but a sense of confidence.*

* From an article written by Dorothea Johnson, Protocol School of Washington

Celebrating Boys Day Koinobori - Carp Streamer By Keigetsu (1876-1963)


Golden Week in Japan is a group of national holidays, beginning with April 29th and ending with May 5th.
With well-placed weekend, this is not only the longest holiday period in Japan each year, but a very popular time for many family traditions, as well.
April 29: Midori no Hi
- Green Day, -April 29 was the birthday of Emperor Hirohito, Showa period, who died in 1989. Following his death, the holiday was changed to Midori no Hi, in honor of the environment and nature.
May 3: Kenpo Kinenbi
- Constitution Day - on May 3, 1947, the new post-war constitution became law.
May 4: Kokumin no Kyujitsu
- "Between Day" This recently created national holiday was added in order to make the Golden Week a continuous holiday period.
March 5: Kodomo no Hi
- Children's Day - This holiday was originally called Tango no Sekku or Boys Day or Festival. Families with boys would celebrate by flying koi nobori or carp streamers and gogatsu ningyo or May dolls.
Now all children celebrate this holiday with their parents and enjoy special foods such as rice dumplings wrapped in bamboo leaves and mochi wrapped in oak leaves. Oak and bamboo symbolize longevity and strength. Hinamatsuri or Girls Day is celebrated on March 3 and is not a national holiday, although there are many that feel it should be.

Travel Hint :If you are going to Japan on business, do not go during Golden Week! However, if you are looking for a lovely time of the year and a cultural experience, by all means, a visit during this week is a great idea!

Easter Babies!

Easter has always been a special time in my life. When I remember Easter's past, a flood of wonderful memories comes crashing in. This year is a special year too, however. New life is all around the Pelikans!
Easter is a time for celebrating the new life we have in Christ, and what I like to call "The Power of the Third Day." That Power is our Lord's victory over death, as He rose from the grave; Easter is the culmination of an especially long season of penitance and prayer, which helps us even more to appreciate Christ's sacrifice for us. The Easter egg is a symbol of resurrection, representing the emergence of Christ from His tomb to everlasting life.
This Easter Season, not only everlasting life, but we celebrate the return from war of our son, John, and his first Easter with his daughter, Karis Lei. (Last year John was in Iraq, and Rondi & Karis Lei celebrated Easter in Japan with Mimi & Papa)
We celebrate the new life of our second grandaughter, Misha Rose, as well. Jesse & Elina are continuing the Pelikan tradition of raising precious, joyful, and gentle little girls - Karis Lei and Misha Rose!
Even though we Pelikans are separted by many miles, our hearts are always joined in love, prayer, and devotion - for God, and for one another.

Just as we long to hear certain things from our husbands, our husbands long to hear us say certain things too! Here are a few ideas:

• Thank you .
• I'm sorry.
• Other men could learn alot about _____ from you.
• You are wonderful.
• That was really great.
• You're so smart.
• You look so handsome in that shirt.
• You brighten up my day.
• Thank you for being my husband.
• I don't feel whole without you.

Today is another day in the healing of my broken foot saga. It seems a never-ending recovery process, and I just want it to be all better - NOW! I take my time up and down the stairs, but I'm hopelessly impatient. I generally find it impolite to go on at too great a length about one's own aches and pains but I feel as though I need to document this publicly as part of documenting my life (I think).
Here is where the break is:
Looking at the picture you'll see the very tip of the 5th medatarsal bone (toward the middle of the foot) just where it meets the cuboid bone; this is where the break is. It is tecnically a toe-bone, and I broke a piece of it off, as well as cracking it somewhat. I rolled my entire foot, so all the toes were black and blue, and are only now starting to feel somewhat normal.
I must say, however, that it is wonderful to have my husband home! A few weeks of crutches, a two-story house, and trying to take care of myself, was no small feat! I did it though, with the help of a few friends and the love of my wonderful dog, Sherman. He was, and is, my constant companion.

7 Ways to show your committment to your spouse!

Go to a place that holds special memories for both of you and talk about the following commitments, or make a new special place, and promise to:

• Never publicly hurt each other.
• To protect each other's reputation and feelings .
• To be faithful emotionally and sexually .
• To keep promises .
• To be honest .
• To never threaten divorce .
• To love each other all through your lives
• Never throw trantrums!

... speaking of tantrums...

Using Time-Outs

Most of us know that when kids are somewhere between 2 to 3 years old, they are also ready for a fairly new concept to them - the Time-Out! Time-outs work like this: When your child misbehaves, for every year of her age, she gets one minute to sit quietly in a chair or in her room to calm herself down (for example, a 3-year-old gets three minutes). She gets up when you say so, or the bell goes off on the timer and time-out is over.
Of course, every child is different, and no one discipline method will work all the time. Our role during this phase is to teach our children to make choices, to teach them to grow up as dependable, highly functioning people, right? But the more practice you get working it out, and the more your child understands boundaries, the happier everyone will be. Most young children have temper tantrums at some point. There are three basic reasons: one, she is tired, sick or she is overwhelmed with feelings of helplessness and frustration, and these feelings can't be held in any longer; two, she's angry because you didn't give in to her and she wants to be independent and have her own way; and three, she's trying to get your attention because she feels left out, ignored or lonely.

With this in mind, it might not be a bad idea that when I misbehave (extended temper tantrum phase), should I not sit quietly in a chair or in my room and set a timer for 50 minutes to calm myself down? (Hmmmm ... this could be profound!)

Ten Things to Never Say to Your Spouse

• What's wrong with you?
• I wish you were more like__________.
• All you ever do is complain.
• I can never make you happy.
• What did you expect?
• Don't you think you got what you deserve?
• You're lazy. All you do is__________.
• You're irresponsible.
• You're just like __________. (your mother, father, sister, etc.)
• I don't know why I put up with you.

Happy Birthday, Jess!
It's March 3rd here in Japan, but in America it's March 2nd ... a very special day for the Pelikan family. Or now32 year-old son, Jesse, was born on this day, and the Phil Pelikan family began! He has a family of his own now(pictured here with his new baby girl, Misha), and we are so proud of him, but especially today! We honor him~

Today in Japan it's girls day, Hina Matsuri, or Girls' Day Festival, which is held every year on March 3rd as a celebration of spring, when the ornamental peach trees are in bloom. Traditionally, the dolls have been given to a girl on the occasion of her first "Hina Matsuri" by relatives and close friends. They are often passed from mother to daughter as family heirlooms.
Karis received her first doll when she was here in Japan for her first Hina Matsuri, by our very dear friend Satchiko Young. Now that we have this precious new addition to our family, she will need her own doll too!

Today is Sunday, and we had 63 people in our morning worship service. What a wonderful morning we had.
It's a rainy, busy day, but a good one.

Why do we meet on Sunday anyway?

Sunday originally was celebrated by the Egyptians, Greeks and Romans as "the day of the sun." Christians transformed the day of the sun into a weekly celebration of the resurrection of Jesus, the Son of God.

One New Testament account tells us that the Christians met to break bread "on the first day of the week" (Acts 20:7), which they called the "Lord's Day." For a time, it appears that Christians who were of Jewish origin marked both the Jewish Saturday and the Christian Sunday (maybe anticipating our own two-day weekend- ha!). The Sabbath (Saturday) being a day to rest before beginning the work-week, and the Lord's Day (Sunday) being the day of worship in the "liturgy," which means "the work of the people (for the Lord)."

keep reading ...

Sunday seems to have become the Christians' special day for two reasons. First, to make a distincion between their day of worship and the Jewish sabbath on Saturday. Second, Sunday was the day Jesus rose from the dead, so it was natural to celebrate the resurrection every week on the day when Jesus first came back to life. "It is Easter which returns week by week."

One early Christian writer, Justin Martyr, put the idea of the "sun's day" and the "Son's day" together: "Sunday... is the first day, on which God transforming darkness and matter made the universe, and Jesus Christ our Savior rose from the dead on the same day." Jesus, the Son of God, fills our lives with light, similar to the way the sun pushes back the darkness of night, which can symbolize sin.
These ideas seem to go together neatly, but it was hard for Christians in the first few centuries of the Church to share the Eucharist on Sunday. For about three centuries, Christianity was an illegal religion in the Roman Empire. To be a Christian was to be a criminal.

one little paragraph to go ...

Until the 300's when Christianity was tolerated and then made the official religion of the Roman Empire, Christians had to work on Sunday. They probably attended the Eucharist early in the morning or late at night. In the city of Rome itself, they crowded in the catacombs underground to avoid being caught. (And we think we have a tough time getting to our worship service!)
In the year 321, the emperor Constantine, who was a follower of Christianity, declared that the "venerable day of the sun," Sunday, would be a day off for everyone. But it wasn't until the year 506 that a Church council laid down a rule that Christians had to attend worship services every Sunday.

Adapted from The Sunday Zone:Keeping theLord's Day Holy
by Christopher M. Bellitto

So far away; doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore; it would be so fine to see your face at my door; doesn't help to know; that you're so far away ...








Oh, how we miss these sweet little girls!

There Is Always Hope


Near the end of the movie Old Yeller, Fess Parker makes a wise comment when he states that sometimes, for no reason at all, life will just knock a person to his knees.

But, let's be honest, life is not always like that. Often better times are just around the corner - and we can hope in that!
There is a great and powerful verse in the Bible that tells us to: "Call unto Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things." (Jeremiah 33:3)
When life seems too tough, and you feel lonely in your futile circumstances, you can revive your heart through prayer.

God promises that if you call on Him in times of trouble, He will deliver you! (Psalm 50:15)




"Once a decision is carefully reached, act! Get busy carrying out your decisions--and dismiss all anxiety about the outcome." (Dale Carnegie)

Happy St. Valentine's Day

St. Valentine is a martyr from before the year 312, commemorated on the 14th of February. He was probably martyred on that date, but nothing else is known of him. (A Valentine, priest of Rome, and a Valentine, bishop of Ternia (Interamna), are both commemorated on 14 February, and now generally assumed to be the same person.) In many parts of Europe, it was once said that birds began to pair off for the nesting season in mid-February. Since our forebears often spoke of a given day by naming a saint connected with it rather than by giving the month and the number of the day, we find them saying that birds choose their mates on St. Valentine's day.

Historians have speculated that St. Valentine came to be given this title because his feast day fell around the time of Lupercalia, a pagan Roman festival of carnal love that later took on a more Christian character as well as the saint's name. For this to happen – if it is true – St. Valentine must have been highly regarded by the early Roman Christians. The saint is described as a brave, righteous and wise man and a kind and conscientious friend to those in need.

According to tradition, St. Valentine also cared deeply for the young: He taught lovers to read and write letters to one another, presented flowers to newlyweds and helped married couples in difficulties.

"Who is wealthy? He who is content with what he has." -- The Talmud

Collect more friends and fewer things. Friends need no packaging, mothballs, or insurance and they only need storage when they're the out-of-town variety. Besides, when we have friends to keep us happy, we need fewer possessions.

I am so excited! I have actually succeeded in adding an additional page of my own to my blog. If you look in the column on the right of the page, you will see a blogsite named: bee tidy. Check it out! It's a blog devoted totally to getting and keeping our homes and lives - tidy!

For war becomes a stark reality, when it camps on one's own doorstep.

DO YOU EVER THINK OF MOTHER?

Do you ever think of mother?
How I longed to see your face?
How I thought of you each hour?
There's no one to take your place.
How I prayed for you at twilight
When the evening shadows fall,
That our God would guide and keep you
Lest in some peril you may befall.
Son, don't forget my teachings,
Do right each and every day.
And, thank the Lord you did come back as pure and clean, sweetheart,
As the day you went away.